By Keri Wallace
No, this is not one of those articles. The ones that tell struggling mothers how they can do better, do more, aim higher. It’s just my story and the things that helped me. But I think it’s something that might help other mums find their feet.
When I became a new mum, it literally knocked me sideways. Due to a recent loss in the family, I did very little research while I was pregnant into what to expect or how to cope. I’d never even held a baby before!
So when my firstborn came along, I didn’t know how to change a nappy or help her feed. Instantly I felt like a massive failure and struggled greatly in the weeks and months that followed. It would take a whole novel to explain all the steps and changes that we went through – but one thing really did help me, and that was running.
I did all the wrong things at first – I went back to running too soon, ignored my body and didn’t strengthen my core or build up slowly. It wasn’t the best way to do it (and I did better the second time around), but the runner’s high felt amazing, and I learned loads of things about why running is the best antidote to the struggles of motherhood.
Before having kids, I sometimes (i.e. ‘often’) found it hard to get out on a run – procrastinating over the plan and getting ready. But as a new mum, I was like a rocket out the door! Suddenly running wasn’t something I HAD to do anymore.
It wasn’t a ‘session’ or a chore – it was a release. And it was precious ‘me-time’. It goes without saying that it wasn’t very easy to actually leave the house (that was the hard bit), but the motivation was there, and the joy.
If I could arrange to escape for an hour, then I could get a hit of that freedom that comes with trail running, spend some time in nature, and breathe fresh air. It might be a cliché, but running in the rain, through bogs or battling the wind, was just so much more invigorating.
Half the time, I was like a zombie, stumbling out of the house but out on the trail, I soon felt so much better.
And there was another thing; gratitude. I wasn’t out running for long before I gained a much better sense of perspective on my new-found life. I could see the struggles for what they were, step back and appreciate my family.
I’d fill up with gratitude for my little girl and those supporting me. Back home, I was an overwhelmed and flustered person, incapable of seeing those special moments and relishing the type-2 fun (okay, maybe type-3 or 4). After my run, though, I felt like a different person. I was happy, more patient and frankly, a better and more present mother.
As it turns out, it’s not just me who feels this way. Research has shown that running has mental and emotional benefits that include relief of tension, improved patience, self-image and better mood.
Combine that with the well-documented benefits of time spent in nature and green spaces, trail running becomes a valuable tool in the management of psychological conditions, such as depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem – which often afflict mothers in the post-partum period.
High-impact sports such as running are also a great way to combat osteoporosis, the risk of which is increased in after having children (maternal bone mass lost during pregnancy and breastfeeding is recovered in the months after weaning, but childbirth is still a factor in increasing osteoporosis later in life).
Regular running can also increase sleep quality by reducing the time it takes to fall asleep and decreasing the amount of time spent lying awake during the night (and trust me, all new mums want that!)
The biggest barrier to exercise for mums (no matter how old your children are) is time availability. On this score, running is probably the most accessible of sports. Fitness and performance can be improved significantly with short runs, which can be done from the door with minimal equipment or experience required.
A run can be squeezed into short time windows such as kids’ afterschool clubs or playdates or by extending the ‘school run’ if dropping-off kids on foot. It can be done at unsociable hours of the morning or in the dark when the kids are asleep (assuming you have childcare/babysitter, of course!)
With running, there’s less need to tie your exercise to a club or a programme, which helps a lot when babies refuse to observe a routine!
When my girls were young, I often used a running buggy, sometimes running up to 10 miles while they were asleep. Now that they are older, they can join me on a Parkrun or ride alongside me on their bikes as I jog. It’s always a juggling act, and I’m still inventing new ways to make more running happen.
When free time is limited, ultrarunning might seem like the worst kind of idea – lots of time commitment for long training runs and events that take up a full day or more. But in reality, and especially as children grow older, ultrarunning can be a good fit.
Firstly, endurance performance peaks later in life (usually by age 40). And while there is little scientific evidence that women have a higher pain threshold than men, there is anecdotal evidence that women are better able to tolerate ‘suffering’ after having children and become more adept at coping with sleep deprivation.
As primary caregivers, women (and especially mothers) are often very diligent when it comes to preparation and self-care in ultra-distance events or challenges.
Ultrarunning is also a more sociable kind of running, with a welcoming community that is more focused on participation and completion than pace and personal bests. Training can be time-consuming for sure, but it can also be a valuable life lesson for young sponges.
I like to think, as a role model to my children, that ultrarunning teaches them about goal-setting, determination and commitment while making an active lifestyle the norm at home. It can be tricky to arrange a weekend away or bring the family to an event, but it’s important for our children to see that their parents still have ambitions and drive and that women are strong!
I have also found that being a mum has changed the way I race. I used to get really nervous about how I would perform or what others would think. Since my life has become a chaotic whirl of school bags, playdates, snack boxes (and, of course, mess; lots of mess), I don’t worry nearly as much.
Racing has become a bit of a holiday by comparison. I enjoy the process more, and I (mostly) enjoy the race, too – making that long and slow journey.
There’s no question that being a mum is tiring, but it’s still fulfilling to spend time exhausting myself in a different, more physical way.
Keri Wallace (aka mum mum mum mum mum mum)
Keri Wallace is an ultrarunner who lives in Scotland and recently completed the female FKT for the Winter Tranter’s Round. She is also the co-founder of the group Girls On Hills, which aims to get more women to start trail running and become empowered with mountaineering skills.